Confession
by heavenly-vixen
Summary: After the torture Hyde had been inflicting upon Jackie since the arrival of his 'wife', Jackie just needs to talk to someone who's on her side.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Confessions

Email: PG

Couple: Hyde/Jackie

Spoilers: Set in Season 8 so anything up to and including season 8.

Summary: After the torture Hyde had been inflicting upon Jackie since the arrival of his 'wife', Jackie just needs to talk to someone who's on her side.

Author's Note: I wrote this because I'm appauled at how the writers have written the latest season. Everyone seems to be ganging up on Jackie and treating her really badly. It seems as if she hasn't got an ally in the whole thing. And the way that Hyde is treating her is unforgivable. I needed to give her an ally.

* * *

**_Chapter One_**

She walked into the room and he was sitting in his usual seat. She sat down on the sofa beside him and looked up at him.

"Hi." She knew she needed this today. But she wasn't sure she was strong enough to talk to him. To tell him all about her life and the boy that continued to break her heart daily.

"Hi Jackie. What do you want to talk about?" He asked in a flat tone. He was distancing himself. He always did it. It used to be annoying. It made her feel like there was one more person that didn't want her in their life and didn't want to be in hers. But today it was a comfort. That somethings don't change. That at least one aspect of her life was consistent.

"I don't think I can keep this mask on anymore." Her voice was low and she herself could hear the defeat in it. It made her feel weak and angry with herself for not being the tough little girl she was supposed to be. She saw him stiffen in his chair, like the words were the last thing he expected to hear from her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm pretending. I'm pretending that i'm ok. I'm pretending that looking at him doesn't feel like a kick to the stomach. That the sound of his voice isn't physically painful. I'm pretending that he didn't succeed in killing me. But it's a lie. He won a long time ago." She lowered her head. She sounded pathetic to herself. And she feared now that the man across from her would finally think she was. The poor pathetic little rich girl. And there would be one more person in her life to abandon her.

"Go on."

"He keeps trying to hurt me. Like marrying some floozy stripper behind my back didn't hurt me enough. Like having to watch them together isn't pain enough. Hearing Donna say how nice she is..." She paused trying to hold back a sob. "Seeing that he's happier with her than he ever was with me. Having to watch him hold her hand... He's supposed to be holding mine." Her shoulders shook as the sob wracked her body but no sound escaped her nor tears. She saw him move to reach out to her but she held her hand up preventing him. If he tried to comfort her she would lose the tight hold she had on her emotions. And she didn't want to be that girl too. The one that broke down every minute over the loss of love.

"He was supposed to be it. He was supposed to be the man in my life that loved me and cared about me who didn't break his promises. Who didn't hurt me. But he couldn't do that. And he's turned me into this." She gestured to herself like she was the most disgusting thing in the world.

"I'm that girl I never wanted to be. Destroyed by a boy who was only out for a good time but the girl was too stupid to see it and fell in love. I hate this girl and i've become her." She wiped at her eyes in an attempt to banish the tears that welled there. "And the worst part is that I don't know how to stop the pain, I don't know how to stop loving him and wanting him. I don't know how to stop missing everything about him. The way he smelled. The way I always felt so safe and secure in his arms. How his kiss lit me on fire. How my hand fight so perfectly in his." And she broke.

The tears fell from her eyes, her tiny body shaking as the sobs ripped through her body. It wasn't just the loss of a love. It was the loss of the love of her life. She knew he was and it terrified her. That a girl so young could have and lose that powerful of a love and be doomed to never feel anything like it again. She was mourning her heart as if he'd died, because to him, she was the one who was dead.

"Jackie?" Her name from him drew her head up from it's position in her hands. She looked at him and asked the one question she'd never been able to answer herself.

"What do I do? Please, tell me how to stop this pain." She knew she was begging but she was beyond caring. "Please." Her voice was tiny and defeated and it broke his heart.

"I can't give you a quick fix answer. I don't think there is one. I'm afraid that the only thing that will heal this pain is time. But I don't think you're going to get that here. Not with the way he insists on treating you. You have to get away from here and away from him. From his taunts." His hand reached out to hold hers and she nodded.

"But I have no where to go and no money to take me anywhere."

He squeezed her hand and waited until she looked up at him again. "I'll take care of that. You go home and pack a bag. I'll take care of everything. I'll call you when it's arranged."

She nodded and stood from the sofa. She turned towards the door but stopped. She turned back to him and threw her arms around him in a gentle, thankful hug. "Thank you Mr Forman." She felt his arms come around her and hug her back. Giving her the comfort she needed, before she pulled away and left the house.

As soon as the front door closed behind her, Red went into the kitchen and picked up the phone. He made arrangements for her to fly out to California and found a hotel for her to stay for a few weeks. He called her immediately at the foreign kid's apartment and told her to come round. He told her that he'd taken care of everything. It was going to be ok.

As Red sat in the kitchen, drinking a beer after he'd seen her off, Hyde made his way in from the basement. He watched the young man open the fridge and pull out a pop. Hyde sat down across from him and couldn't help but notice the glare he was receiving from the older Forman.

"Jackie's gone."

"What?" Hyde was confused at the sudden statement.

"She's gone. She needed to get away for a while."

"Away from what?" Hyde scoffed and the glare intensified.

"From you. She'll be gone for a few weeks. I hope by the time she comes back you'll have woken up to yourself." Red stood from the table and walked toward the swinging door that lead to the living room. He paused at the door and looked back at him. "Oh and you're college fund paid for the trip."

And with that he disappeared from sight.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2_**

They drove in silence. She'd been gone for weeks, and although she smiled and hugged him when he greeted her at the airpor,t something was off. He'd pretended to never care about the kids in his basement. But ever since she held the light for him and helped him work on the car, he'd seen her in another light. She wasn't just some girl. She wasn't just another dumbass friend of Eric's. The girl was beautiful, that much was obvious. But she was smart and she was loyal, and he had to admire the way she never did anything by halves. It was always all or nothing. That was the way she'd loved Steven and that was the way she'd mourned him.

When they pulled up in front of the foreign kid's apartment, Red turned the engine off and turned towards Jackie.

"How are you doing kid?" He asked and saw the corners of her mouth rise in the slightest of smiles. He was using his father voice. It always made her smile and it always put her at ease.

"I'm ok. I mean, he's still in here." She said as she raised her hand to cover her heart. "But the ache is passing. California really helped. Thank you." She smiled, but it still didn't quite reach her eyes.

"I'm glad. Although, I hate to tell you this. But he probably will always be there. I don't think you'll get rid of that part of him. No matter what you do." He sounded like he was delivering a death notice and she had to smile.

"I know that. And I'm actually glad. I had a lot of time to think, really think, in California and I realised that that wasn't a part of him I ever wanted to part with. I mean, I loved him with everything I had. You don't just throw something like that out of the window. That kind of love, never goes away. It just fades. I just have to wait til it fades enough that it doesn't hurt anymore. But now, at least, I have hope that it will stop." She smiled and her words proved to him that she was everything he thought she was. Smart, talented, beautiful and wise beyond her years. Someone that Steven never should have let go.

"I'm glad sweetheart." He smiled and took her hand with a gentle squeeze.

"I have something to tell you. I mean, it's good news and it never would have happened without you. So I really want you to be the first to know." He was silent, so she continued. "I got a job in California. I'm moving there in 2 weeks."

The shock that etched its way onto his face as she spoke was quickly replaced by anger as her words sunk in. She couldn't believe that he wasn't happy for her.

"What do you mean you're moving? What the hell?" He liked this one. Hell loved her like the daughter he'd always hoped Laurie could have been. He was suddenly understanding of Kitty's feelings when Eric was leaving. He loved her. It would hurt him physically if she were to leave his life entirely. And that's what would happen. She had no legitimate ties to him. No obligations. She would leave and never look back.

"I met a television executive and he offered me an audition. I went in and got it. I'm going to be an anchor for the local news. I found a nice apartment in a good neighbourhood, and I am going." She smiled excited, hoping he would see how good this was for her and be happy for her. When he continued to look at her with that mixture of shock, anger and sadness, she continued. "Mr. Forman. I can't stay here. I think you know that. I will never get to the point in my life where I can be truly happy if I stay here. This is really for the best. And I think if you take the time to really think this through, you'll agree with me. It really is a great oppurtunity. Please be happy for me." Her voice was pleading. Pleading with the only man in her life that had never betrayed her. Pleading that he'd accept her news and be happy for her. That he'd still love her.

His face softened and he picked up her hand once again. With a gentle squeeze, a smile started to etch its way onto his face.

"I am happy for you sweet heart. I'm just a little sad that you're leaving. It's a bit of a shock. Who am I going to talk to now?" He smiled and she knew it was all for her benefit, but she couldn't help but smile back at him. He always knew when she needed him and he never failed her.

After helping Jackie with her bags, Red headed back to the house. He was still angry that she was leaving. He'd thought of nothing else as he'd brought her bags up to the apartment and sat down to have a beer with her. But he'd taken the time, just as she'd asked, and saw that it really was for the best. Jackie Burkhart had nothing in Point Place but a lifetime of betrayal. If she were to ever find peace, she would have to leave. But his anger did not fade with understanding. He still knew that Steven was mostly to blame for this turn of events. Jackie was a strong girl, but no one is strong enough to stand by and take abuse from someone who once promised their heart and their loyalty. From someone who still had yours.

So as he pulled into the drive way of his house his anger flared more strongly than ever. But as he entered the house and saw Steven sitting in the living room watching tv, it came to a boiling point. He stood in front of the television, sufficiently blocking the view, and glaring down at the boy who destroyed the heart of a good girl whose only fault was loving him.

"This is all your fault. You've ruined everything." Red yelled as he looked at the confused face of Steven Hyde. "She's leaving here forver and it's all your fault."

TBC...


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

Hyde wasn't counting the days, dreading the inevitable, the day she would leave. No, he didn't care. It wasn't like he had the day mentally blacked out. No! He just pretended it wasn't happening. He pretended that he hadn't over heard Red telling Kitty the date. And he pretended that he wasn't terrified.

He didn't know when Jackie Burkhart had become such an important element in everyone's lives. But it seemed, now that she was leaving, everyone was dreading the day that plane would fly her right out of their lives.

The basement was oddly empty as everyone rushed to spend time with the tiny girl who had entered their hearts. Donna was frantic. Faced with the loss of her unlikely best friend, she was eager to spend as much time with her as possible. Fez was surprisingly devastated, but the more Hyde thought about it, the less surprising it was.

Even Kitty and Red were upset. He'd heard her on the phone planning a day with Jackie and that was how he found himself here. Sitting on one end of the sofa with Mrs Forman staring at him from the other. They'd been at the mall all day and had returned to the house to have coffee and talk. They'd discussed her new job in California. She was going to be a member of the news team for the local news in San Francisco Valley. Not that he was listening. And even though Sam had left while Jackie was still in California, he still felt guilty as he snuck a glance in her direction. It still felt like a betrayal looking at this girl he'd loved for so long. And yet his heart reacted just as it had when she was still his.

Sitting in the living room watching tv he could feel Mrs Forman's eyes on him. She'd been watching him the whole way through Columbo and for a little while before hand.

It had started when Mrs Forman had arrived home with Jackie. They'd walked through the front door and straight past him. He would have thought that they hadn't seen him if it wasn't for the quick "Hello Steven." Mrs F had thrown his way. But Jackie had just ignored him. He'd expected as much really. But the pain in his heart when he realised that soon she would no longer be around to 'torture' him, ripped through him.

But it was when they came back in to drink their coffee and eat their cake., talking away to each other that he'd first felt her eyes on him.

Sure it hadn't started the minute they sat down. No it was about 10 minutes in that he noticed Mrs Forman's first glance in his direction. It was the oddest thing. She had this strange look on her face, one he'd never seen before and couldn't quite figure out. She'd continued to glance at him during her conversation with Jackie with the exact same expression. Then after Jackie had left the glancing had progressed to flat out staring.

Hyde had adopted his most zen like expression and kept his eyes on the tv, as hard as it had been under her intense scrutiny. But that was an hour ago and she still hadn't let up and his zen face was about to crumble.

Hyde glanced her way before averting his eyes quickly when he'd caught hers.

"You're in love." She finally said out of the blue.

"What?" He asked utterly confused at the sudden statement.

"You're actually in love. Full blown, crazy, can't live without, passionate, all-consuming love. Lasting love."

It had finally happened. Mrs Forman had lost the plot. Gone crazy. Hyde had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. At his confused face she continued.

"Steven, it's written all over your face. It's even in your whole body. I've never seen it quite so strong before. It's such a pity." She finished with a sad sigh that only served to confuse him futher.

"Why? I thought it was a good thing to be in love." He asked sarcastically, not bothering to try and deny it. He knew it was thruth and he'd never been real good at lying to Mrs Forman.

She nodded her head and gave him a piercing look. "It is. It's wonderful and exciting." She said with a smile.

"Then what's such a pity?"

"That you've lost it." She frowned and he realised why they were having this conversation and now.

He'd been the one staring. It had been him all along. He'd been staring at Jackie. The whole time she'd been at the house he'd been sneaking glances at her. Then came lingering looks, until he was finally staring at her. Mrs Forman was only reacting to his behaviour.

"So what do you suggest I do about it Mrs F?"

She smiled then and he knew she was just about to give him exactly what he'd asked for. A way out of this mess... but it wouldn't be easy. This much, he knew.

"You know that I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and if at all possible, they should be saved. But your's honey, it's just wrong. It's existence has already violated that sanctity. You and Jackie were good together. She was helping you... and yes, you were helping her too. But she will be the most important person to ever enter your life."

"Why?" He thought he knew. But he wanted to hear it. He needed to hear it.

"Because that beautiful girl not only loved you completely and unconditionally, without out fail. But she saw the good in you and most importantly, she believed in you." She stood as she finished speaking, laying her hand on his shoulder. "Fix this Steven. End your marriage appropriately and gently, put aside your pride and do whatever it takes to get Jackie back. Or eventually, you will regret it for the rest of your life." She went to move for the kitchen door but his soft, almost broken voice stopped her.

"You're wrong... I already regret it."

TBC...


	4. Chapter 4

_I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed the previous 3 chapters of this fic. I'm really grateful for your kind words and I feel very fortunate that there are people out there who not only take the time to read my fics, but to review also. I'm so glad you are enjoying my very first That 70s Show fic. I hope the rest of the fic doesn't disappoint. I would, ideally, like to address every reviewer individually, but there was such a great response to this fic I couldn't possibly. I just want everyone to know, I really appreciate the support and I thank you. :) -Ally_

_**Chapter Four**_

He stood outside the door, his arm raised and his hand in a fist, ready to knock. But he couldn't move. He just stared at the numbers in front of him. He knew she was in there, alone. Fez was back at the basement. She was in there, packing. Packing to leave his life and as much as his heart screamed at him to go in there and stop her before he lost her for good and with her himself, he just couldn't move.

Hyde had worked himself up the whole ride over to talk to her. Really talk, without putting up the zen walls and let her yell and scream and cry until she was no longer angry and she could take him back. But somewhere in his mind he knew that wasn't what was going to happen. He could, and he would, let her yell and scream and cry but she wouldn't take him back after. She would need time. So as he stood there frozen to the spot, he told himself he was there to talk her into time.

She taped up the second last box and turned at the sound of a knock at the front door. Striding over she opened the door with a smile that quickly dropped when she saw him. She knew why he was there. At least she had two guesses. Either to mock her, to taunt her like he'd done since his 'wife' came to Point Place. Or to talk her into staying - to promise all the things he always promised, until the next time. She couldn't do that again. She couldn't forget and put it behind her just to have her heart broken all over again. It was too much and she wouldn't put herself through it again.

She stood aside and let him in. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she released it. She had to be strong. She had to remember the pain and forget the way his arms felt so strong around her. She had to remember his wife and not the way his kisses left her breathless. She had to remember the nurse and not the way his touch warmed her to the core. He was no longer the boy that was hers and she was no longer the girl that was his. Instead he was the man who came so close to breaking her and she was the woman who wouldn't let it happen again.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a small voice. She'd wanted to sound confident and in control but her voice wouldn't cooperate with her head. It seemed to be in cahoots with her heart.

"Please don't go Jacks." His voice was no stronger. No louder. And she almost crumbled when his eyes met hers. He'd always hidden behind those sunglasses. He could never mask the emotion in his eyes so he did the next best thing and covered them. But as he stood looking at her without them, she could see his pain, his love. And she almost broke.

She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. Looking down, away from him, before meeting his eyes again. "No. I have nothing keeping me here Steven. I have a future in California."

He stepped towards her and she had to remind herself to stand firm. "You could have a future here Jacks. With me."

Was he kidding her with this? Her eyes flashed at him. The anger rising from deep within her, long since repressed and now making a vicious comeback.

"A future? With you? You didn't want me. You made that perfectly clear." She yelled. She fully expected him to don his zen mask and mutter 'whatever' before leaving the apartment. But he stepped toward her.

"I always wanted you Jacks. There was never a time when I didn't." He sounded sincere and calm and she was only made angrier that he seemed unaffected by her when she was so thrown off by him.

"What do you think we'd do, huh? That you and I could just fuck when your wife wasn't looking?" She yelled and took a step back from him.

"She's gone Jacks. She left while you were in California." His statement only provoked her anger further. Her eyes flashed as her voice began to rise.

"So that's what this is about. She's gone and now you want your little play thing back. Then what Steven? Drop me as soon as another skanky ass stripper comes along? I will not be second best to anyone least of all a stripper. I will not be your left overs." Her hands clenched at her sides as she fought to mainatin control.

"I told her to go Jacks. I love you." His voice remained calm and low. His confession sounding eerily similar to that so many years ago. He'd only ever said those words when she was standing, with her hand on the metaphorical door knob, ready to walk away. He said it to stop her, he said to make her forgive him. But it wouldn't work this time.

"No. You don't come in here and tell me you love me and think that everything's going to be ok. It's not ok Steven. I don't care if you told her to go. You let her stay. You married her. You almost destroyed me. I can not and I will not forgive you for that." Her voice returned to his usual volume but the venom remained.

"I've been a shit Jacks. I know that. And there's nothing you could do or say that can make me feel any worse than I already do. The last thing in the world I ever wanted to do was hurt you. You are the only person I've ever truly loved." Once his words would have filled her heart with love, but now, they were too little, too late. And if she were truly honest with herself, she doubted there was any truth to his words.

"Love? Is that what you think you felt for me? Love does not act the way you have Steven. Love does not seek to hurt. Love does not seek to break." Her eyes filled with tears she refused to let fall, she turned away from him. She didn't want him to see the tears shining in her eyes before she could blink them away.

"I'm sorry Jacks. I will say sorry every day for the rest of my life if you want me to. I am truly sorry. I was so confused. I didn't know how to handle what I feel for you and I screwed up, but please baby. Please try and forgive me. I don't want to lose you." He pleaded. He'd never pleaded with her. He always demanded. She had to force herself to work through his words.

"You want to know what you'll lose Steven. You'll lose someone who loved you with every ounce of themselves. Someone who believed in you and trusted you. I would have done anything for you. Anything... So tell me Steven. How does it feel?" She turned back to him, her eyes as cold as her tone. "How does it feel to lose me. Because I'm already gone."

"No Jacks, Please." He looked terrified, standing there, shaking his head in disbelief. She'd always taken so much, it was a shock to see her stand strong in defence of herself. But it was time to think logically. Love doesn't always turn out the way you want it to, and Jackie Burkhart was starting to fear that for her, it never would.

"I forgave you. For the nurse." Her eyes focused on a point over his shoulder. Completely void of emotion, she looked numb as she spoke. "It took everything in me, more strength than I ever thought I had, but I did it. I pushed it to the back of my mind, telling myself over and over and over again that you weren't Michael. That it was a mistake that you would never make again. That you were telling the truth when you said that you loved me and that it would never happen again. I forgave you. But its amazing what you can talk yourself into when your young and want something so badly. You can actually start to believe the lines. You actually start to believe all the lies and except them totally as fact."

Steven watched her as she spoke. She was finishing them. Everything she said was closing the door, locking him out. Out of her life and the reality hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced, more than he could bear. But as she continued, the pain grew even worse.

"And yet, all the strength it took to forgive and forget. That was nothing to what it took to except Sam. To talk myself out of the lies and force myself to see the truth. That you'd done it again, only much much worse. That nothing would ever bring you back because I couldn't take you back. Not after her. Not after the torture you put me through for weeks before I finally escaped to California."

Hyde started to wonder if she was trying to hurt him. Paying him back for all the pain he'd caused her. So he stood, watching the girl he loved, summing up their relationship into all the most painful moments, letting her words cut him like a knife. But he would never back down. Not this time.

She shook her head at him. Trying to make him see what he was asking of her. Trying to make him see what he'd done to her and to them. Something that was so horrendous, forgiveness could be not asked.

"I don't have that in me again. I don't have the strength to pick myself up again. Please don't ask me to do it. I don't have the strength Steven and I don't think you're capable of being with me and being the man I need you to be. You will always be the boy in the circle in the Forman's basement. You can't be the man in my heart, who loves me as much as I love him. Who'll support me and trust me, the man I can trust. It'll never happen." The pain in her eyes broke his heart. But the resignation, the finality, almost destroyed him. She had not only given up on them, she'd given up on him.

"I am that man baby. I am. Give me a chance. Stay. Let me prove to you that you can trust me again. That you are the most important thing in my life. You are my life. Please baby." He had to make her see. He had to make her see that he wasn't the monster she thought he was. The monster he'd been. That it was a mask. The man he was, was willing to be anything and do anything to be with her. To be the man she needed him to be. The man she deserved.

"No. I can't. As much as I want to. As much as I want you to walk over here and pull me into your arms and tell me that it's all different. It's not. It's exactly the same and my heart can't take it." Her voice caught on the sob she was holding back, and she couldn't fight the tears any longer. They fell from her eyes and ran down her cheeks unchecked.

"You were right all those years ago Steven. I deserve better than that. I grew up a lot with you. That's the irony of it all. The old Jackie would except your apology and declaration of love and take you back. But the Jackie that I've become with you, she isn't so foolish. She's not a child anymore longing for love, any love, so badly that she'll take some screwed up version of it. She's a woman, an adult, who knows great heartache and is smart enough to know that nothing ever changes. That promises don't add up to jack shit. And people only let you down." He'd done a really great job. He'd turned her into him. Cold and scared and untrusting. Everything she hated, and everything she'd always overlooked in him.

"I never wanted to do this to you." His voice was small. But Jackie's anger wasn't spent.

"Then why were you so happy you broke me?" Her voice was accusing and he looked at her confused. "You didn't think I'd find out? Michael has a big mouth Steven. He told me how you two were so proud of yourselves for screwing me up. I believe there was even a high-five." Her eyes bore into his and he knew that everyone had always been right about him. He was a screw up. Because he'd screwed up the only that ever truly mattered.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. He didn't know what else to say. She looked at him and knew he was. She knew that his apology was not only for the comment, but for everything. For every horrible thing he'd ever said. For all the times he'd never been there. For all the times he'd ignored her. And for all the times he'd hurt her, with complete disregard for her feelings.

"I know you are. I do. I can see that. But sorry's not good enough anymore. " She said softly, the anger draining from her eyes, being replaced with exhaustion. She was tired and she couldn't fight anymore.

"Please Jacks. Give me a chance. Stay." He pleaded again, but once again, she shook her head.

"I stayed for you last time Steven and you married someone else." The tears started falling from her eyes again but were quickly wiped away. "I gave up a great life and came back here with nothing. No job, no family, no boyfriend, no place to live and slowly I realised, no friends. You have to realise something Steven. You broke my heart. I've never felt pain like that before and I don't ever want to feel it again. I'm sorry but no." She was determined and she was standing firm. There was nothing he could say today to change her mind. He knew that. But he wouldn't give up. He'd fight for her, like he should have before. He'd show the passion and the courage she deserved.

"The boy you think I still am. The one who so recklessly broke your heart would walk out that door right now and let you leave. He'd let you get on that plane and fly out of his life." He stepped towards her, his eyes firm and determined.

"But the man you made me, he wants you to know something. We're worth it. We're worth fighting for and I'm not going to let you go again." He strode towards her, closing the gap between them. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, passionately and was gone before she had time to react. She screamed her frustration and picked up the nearest object, throwing it across the room. He was still under her skin, still in her heart and hell if he still couldn't make her feel more desire than she ever dreamed possible.

TBC...

_A/N: Just wanted to let everyone know that although things look bleak right now, things change. There is always light at the end of a dark tunnel :)_

_-Ally_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed so far. Thank you so much for your really great and kind comments. I really appreciate it and I'm ecstatic that you're all enjoying my fic. I write not only for myself but in the hope that others might find some enjoyment in it, just as I do in reading other's work. So thank you all, I really enjoy hearing from you and your thoughts. I only wish I could address you all individually. But thank you all SO much. :) Hugs to everyone. -Ally_

_**Chapter 5**_

He stood outside the sliding doors that lead into the Forman's kitchen, just watching her. She was talking to Red and Kitty, smiling. She was beautful. She always had been and she always would be. She did deserve better, and once he would have bailed, sure he couldn't be that for her. But now. Now he was older and now he was changed. She'd changed him. Now he was willing to try to be the man she needed him to be. He was willing to do the things being that man required. If only he could convince her of that.

Two days. He had two days before she left for California. He had the flight number memorised, hoping that she wouldn't get on that plane and leave him behind for good.

He stepped inside and resisted the urge to turn and run as 3 pairs of eyes turned to him. Red and Kitty made some excuse to leave but he didn't hear it. His own eyes were focused on the girl that was his world. She looked at him, her eyes shiny and her breathing slightly uneven. He knew she was repeating a mantra internally, she always got this look he could never quite describe in her eyes, when she was. A part of him was yelling at him that he was pathetic that he knew such a random and silly thing about her. Worse yet that he loved it and was terrified of never seeing it again.

He sat down across from her and reached for her hand. He closed his eyes and sighed when she pulled it away from his grasp. He knew then that he mantra was to not to give in to him. This was not going to be easy, but he'd once heard that if it were easy it wouldn't be worth it. And they were certainly worth it.

"I have some things to say to you. Will you hear me out? I mean, just sit there and don't say anthing until I'm done. Just stay and listen. Will you please?" He pleaded with his eyes and he saw her eyes acquiesce long before she nodded her head.

"I love you." There was more conviction in his voice and love in his eyes than she'd ever seen before. "I'm not saying it because I've screwed up again. I'm not saying it because I think that's what you want to hear. I'm not saying it as a last resort to get you back. I'm saying it because I want to, because I need to and because I've never loved anyone as much as I love you." He reached for her hand again and this time she let him take it. He squeezed it gently, linking their fingers together before continuing.

"I'm never going to be the guy that says the right thing at the right time. And you know that. But I think you know that I want to. I'm never going to be completely comfortable saying 'I love you' all the time. But I think you know that I do. And I'll still be the guy that trusts no one. But I think you know that's not true. That I do trust you, and that's what scares me. But I can be a man that you can trust. I can be the man that supports you and loves you... I want to be the man that loves you and supports you. I want to be the man that puts the ring on your finger and the man that your kids call dad. I want it all, and I want it with you."

He stopped and looked at her. Her eyes shining with unshed tears. He was hurting her again. He knew it. His words were causing her confliction and fear and that was hurting her. But he had to get her back and he would take the pain away if she'd let him. He'd hold her and kiss her until the world disappeared. If she'd only let him.

"I do love you Steven. God I don't think you'll ever know just how much. So much that it scares me too. And it's taking so much strength right now to stand here and not reach out to you. To tell you no. I hurts so much. But not as much as it will when you lose faith in me again and it's my heart that pays the price. I can't go through that pain again Steven, I just can't. I love you too much to do it to either of us. I have to be the strong one this time." She shook her head as the tears fell from her eyes. Her voice still held conviction but her eyes. Her eyes betrayed her. She wanted him. She wanted to hold him and be held by him. She wanted to be with him, now and always. She was just too scared.

"Listen to me." He reached forward, cupping her face in his hands, kneeling before her. "I mean it. Every word of it. I want to be with you. I want to marry you one day and have kids. I need you Jackie. I made a huge mistake. An unforgivable mistake. But please Jackie. Stay around and torture me for it for the rest of our lives. Make me pay."

Everything he'd said up until that moment had been so out of character. Steven Hyde had never been the one to stand before anyone and profess his undying love. But here he was, saying it to her. Telling her she was the one he wanted. It made her heart swell, yet her fear still waged a war inside her.

"I want to believe you. So much. But I can't give up everything again. If you're serious. If you really want this..." She trailed off, averting her eyes from him. She was slowly giving in to her heart. She was giving in to the love she felt for him. So strong it consumed her and overwhelmed her. So strong it broke her apart and made her whole at the same time. It drove her crazy and it made her sane. It did everything the romance novels and love songs said, only this love was capable of tearing her apart for good. This love scared her to death. Listening to her heart got her in trouble and she was terrified sitting there knowing she was letting it rule over her head yet again.

"I do baby. I really do. Please don't be scared." His words should have shocked her. That he knew what she was feeling, but they didn't. He knew her better than anyone. Maybe that's why he was able to hurt her so much.

"If you really want this. Then you have to come to California. I've given everything up for you before and it blew up in my face. If you really think you can do this. If you really want to be with me, then you'll come with me." She looked at him and saw the shock in his eyes. It was the last thing he'd expected from her. But the only thing she could offer. She wanted him, she loved him, but she wouldn't put herself on the line again. It was his turn to fight for them. She was tired.

"It won't be easy Steven. We will get on each other's nerves. We will fight and it will take work. But I do want a life with you. I want the kids and the house. I want it all with you. You know that. I've never hidden that from you and trying to deny it now would be a foolish waste of energy. But you have to understand something. I can't go out on that ledge alone. You need to be out there with me. And if you're really willing to do that, you'll be on that plane with me when it takes off."

Her hand shook as she reached out to touch his cheek gently before standing and heading to the door. She stopped before leaving and turned to him.

"Think about it Steven. You have until departure time." And then she was gone. Leaving him stunned and confused, and with a lot to think about.

TBC...

_Not long to go now. We are growing ever closer to that light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Just a little note to say thanks for all the wonderful reviews. **ReginaBina33, Jessi, fisharecoolies, crazyschick, spuffyshipper, YouThinkYouNoeMe, sexyzenfox, soapmama, hmmart, danalee48**, thanks for reviewing chapter 5. I really appreciate your kind words and i'm really glad you're enjoying it. There are 2 more chapters left in the fic + an epilogue if so requested. :) Thanks everyone._

**_Chapter 6_**

He sat at the kitchen table, staring at the top, his mind running a mile a minute. She wanted him to give up everything and follow her. It was fair, he supposed. She'd been willing to give up everything for him. And when she did, she arrived home to a stripper claiming to be his wife. He'd been so shocked himself at the time that he'd never considered what that must have done to her. What pain it must have caused. It only now dawned him that if he'd been in her shoes, he'd never give her an option. He'd never forgive her. It would be over. But she wasn't him. She was offering him one last chance, just as he'd been begging for. So why was it so hard to make a decision? He never heard the swinging door. And he never heard Red moving towards him until he spoke.

"What are you going to do?" Red asked as he sat down across from him. Of course he knew what Jackie had asked of him. He'd been listening. Or more likely, Kitty had been listening and she'd sent him in here to talk to him about it. Probably to convince him his only option was to stay. She didn't want to lose another child.

"I don't know." He answered softly. He really didn't. It was a gigantic risk.

"You don't know?" Red's voice sounded annoyed. "So you were willing to fight for her while she was the one giving everything up. Now that it's your turn, you're not sure."

"That's not how it is." He said trying to fight the urge to be defensive and angry at Red's words.

"That's exactly how it is. You wanted her, wanted to be with her, while it was convenient for you. But as soon as it got a little tough and required a little work, you bailed. Every time Steven, you bailed. And yet, she still forgave you, every single time. Now you go and do something incredibly stupid and unforgiveable, yet she's willing to try again, if only you give her something. Something to hold on to. Some piece of you that proves to her that you do mean all the things you've said. That they weren't empty promises. And you can't even give her that. My god boy, she deserves at least that." He was giving Hyde that look. The look he always gave Eric when he thought he was the stupidist thing to ever walk the earth. This time, Hyde thought, he may just be right.

"In fact. I'm suprised she doesn't make you crawl on your hands and knees all the way to California." He stated, adding more venom in his voice than he ever did when burning Eric.

"I know. I've been a dumbass." He stated dejectedly.

"You don't even know the half of it. You think I don't know what you've been doing to that poor girl since the first day you kissed her? You think I don't know what goes on in this house? I know everything that any of you have ever done here. I always have. And I know all the crap you've been dishing out to that poor girl. So she may have made a few mistakes. Get used to it! People make mistakes. But what makes a man Steven, is not running from them. Whether their hers, or yours. You step up to the plate and you fight for the woman you love. " He was yelling now. And Hyde knew that his defense of Jackie wasn't merely Red's instinct to protect the small, it was his fatherly instinct to protect his child. Jackie had found her way into Red's heart, the hardest of all of them to get into, and she'd done it. Without even trying. This strong man before him loved her as the daughter he'd always wished Laurie could be. And Steven was the boy who broke her heart.

Steven didn't know why Red wasn't leaping over the table to shove his foot up his ass. He certainly didn't expect Red to sigh and slump his shoulders. The anger was washing away, being replaced with sadness. His voice softened as he continued.

"There are a lot of things in this world that are frightening and are capable of destroying you Steven. When you find a woman who's strong enough and willing to stand beside you through all of it. You don't run. You grab her and never let her go. And if you happen to be madly in love with her, and she loves you back. Than you fight like hell, for her." Red leaned forward and looked Steven directly in the eye. "So the question is Steven. Are you strong enough to fight?"

Red stood from the table and left the room. As soon as the swinging door to the living room closed, it was swung open again. Kitty stepped into the room and up to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder before sitting down opposite him.

"Are you going to yell at me too? Tell me how stupid I've been. Because, I got the memo." He drawled sarcastically, his eyes looking anywhere but at her.

"No honey. I think you've heard enough about the things you've done wrong. Speaking of which, did your divorce to Samantha come through?" She asked with her trademark laugh. He nodded and waited for her to continue. "Good, because you shouldn't even be thinking about going after Jackie if you were still married."

She paused and searched his face. There was one thing that had been bugging her about the whole situation. Something that now that Steven was trying to get Jackie back, she couldn't put off asking any longer.

"Steven, honey. Do you miss her?" He looked up at her then. What a question to ask. He'd missed her every day. He nodded mutely, looking into her eyes so she could see the truth. "Do you hurt?" She saw the confusion on his face and elaborated. "Do you hurt when she hurts? Do you hurt because she's gone?" Kitty almost gasped as she saw his eyes tear up. His face was set hard, he would never let them fall, but they were all the answer she needed. He was hurting almost as much as Jackie was. So why did he treat her so badly?

"Tell me Steven. Why did you say those things to her? Why would you want to hurt her like that?"

"I don't know." He got a far away look in his eyes as he shook his head. "I don't know why I did it. I guess I figured if she were angry at me that it would be easier to be away from her. I didn't realise that it wasn't making her angry. I was only hurting her." His voice broke slightly and he stopped. "By then though, it was too late. I couldn't take it all back. Nothing I did would make it better. And..." He trailed off. He'd said so much, it was so out of character for him, but he was so lost right now. Yet this last confession was too much. He didn't think he could tell anyone this.

Kitty reached out and took his hand. She squeezed it gently, encouragingly. He could trust her. He always could. She would never betray him. So he told her. Told her the deepest fear he had. "And I don't deserve her. She can do better. She is better. It's just a matter of time before she realises that. I thought it would be better if..." His eyes lowered from her. He felt her pull her hand from his and looked back up at her. Kitty was standing in front of him. She looked down at him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"She deserves to be happy. She's leaving it up to you to decide if you want to be included in that happiness. Do you want to be?" And then Kitty was gone. Back through the swinging door into the living room. Leaving him there with what should have been one of the hardest decisions of his life. But as he sat, staring at the linolium table top there was only one thing in his vision. Jackie's face. Smiling at him, her voice sounding in his mind as she whispered that she loved him. Fear constricted his heart as he thought of never seeing her face again. Never hearing her voice. And he knew he only had one option.

Hyde stood from the table and walked into the living room. Kitty and Red were sitting on the sofa, seemingly waiting for him. They looked up at him and he almost lost his nerve. But her face clouded his vision the moment he closed his eyes. It was time to grow up. To become a man and fight for her.

"I'm sorry. But I have to go." His voice was void of emotion. And he stood rigid, waiting for the explosion he expected. But it never came.

"I know honey." He heard Kitty say as she stood up and walked towards him.

"That's it?" He asked. He was sure she would say more than that. Become emotional or angry. Anything other than a smile.

"You're a good boy Steven. You always were. You did things sometimes that left a lot to be desired. But you know right from wrong and I know you'll always eventually make the right decisions. This is the right decision. It's time to grow up honey." She smiled at him and engulfed him in a tight hug.

"Steven. I think you have some things to take care of. The plane leaves at 3pm tomorrow." Red said looking stern but Hyde could see the makings of a smile on his face.

Hyde nodded and headed out of the room. He could do this. He could be everything she needed him to be, because she'd always been willing to be everything to him.

TBC...


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: To **_gooniegirl, ReginaBina33, sexyzenfox, YouThinkYouNoeMe, fisharecoolies, danalee48_**. Thank you for your reviews. So glad to see everyone's enjoying my little fic. :) I'm seeing that this is making quite a few people cry. I feel I should say sorry and I hope it's tears from emotive and convincing writing, instead of bad writing. lol :) Well 1 more chapter after this one and then it seems the general consensus is for an Epilogue, yes? Thank you everyone for your support, I really appreciate it. I hope the rest of the fic does not disappoint. Thanks again. - Ally

_**Chapter 7**_

She was zipping up her suitcase, as he stood leaning against her bedroom door watching her. She was leaving in an hour and he didn't think he could watch her go. He'd longed for this girl for years, and been friends with her for even longer. She was beautiful, and really a very nice person. She was loyal and devoted. And he didn't know what he and his band of misfits would do without her. The light would be gone forever and he wasn't sure they'd ever be able to get it back.

"Fez? Will you carry this to the door please?" She asked and he stomped his foot angrily.

"No. I will not help you walk out of my life for good." He pouted and watched as she smiled at him sweetly. She lugged the heavy suitcase off her bed and sat down, patting the spot beside her.

Fez entered the now empty room and sat beside her. Everything was packed up. The bed and her suitcase were the only things left. Her boxes had been packed and taken away days ago by the movers. He'd stayed away that day. Unable to watch. It was too final. Too hard.

"Fezzy. I love you, you know that right?" She asked with a sweet smile, picking up his hand and holding it between hers. He nodded reluctantly.

"Yes. I know. But why must you leave me?" He asked and frowned at the sadness in her eyes.

"I have to go Fez. There's nothing here for me now. My family's a mess. My mother's gone, my dad's in prison. Michael's in Chicago, Eric's in Africa. You and Donna are busy with your lives." Fez opened his mouth to speak and she held up a hand to prevent him. "Don't get me wrong. I'm really happy that you two have your own thing and you're happy. But it doesn't leave much room for me and I don't want you to give up your lives for me... Then, there's Steven. Well, hell he's just..." She stopped and he watched her carefully. She looked so sad. He squeezed her hand and she looked up at him with a forced smile.

"I don't even have any other friends Fez. I turned them away. Steven used to say they were shallow and vapid. And he was right. But they were all I knew, and I gave them up. I never regretted that until recently. I don't have a job anymore. I have nothing." She looked up at him, her eyes begging with him to understand. "I can't stay in a town where all I have are bitter reminders of a life that doesn't exist anymore. I won't."

Fez looked into Jackie's eyes. She was so much more than they ever gave her credit for. And as much as he wanted to tell her that she was wrong and convince her to stay. It was no use. She was right and she was already gone. He raised his hand and brushed a lock of hair off her face before leaning in and kissing her cheek gently. He extricated his hand from hers and pulled her into his arms for a tight embrace. He would let her go, but he wasn't sure if he could ever truly forgive his friend for sending her away.

He pulled away when he heard the taxi horn outside. He didn't say a word, he simply picked up her suitcase and carried it outside. She followed him and paused before getting into the car. Jackie had already said goodbye to everyone else. Everyone but Fez and Steven. Steven had a few more hours to make his decision. But the creepy boy, who was quickly becoming a gentlemen, who stood before her only had now.

Jackie leant in and kissed his lips gently. It was nothing but a friendly brush of lips but when she pulled back he was smiling big. He'd finally got his kiss. She hugged him tightly and smiled into his shoulder when she heard him whisper softly in his ear. "I love you too. And I understand."

When she pulled away from him she had tears in her beautiful eyes.

"You are so coming to visit me in California. You and Donna can come out for a weekend or something and we'll have a girls weekend. Just us. Just like old times." She smiled. It may never happen. They move on, she may. But she hoped they would still always need each other. Because the basement gang had become her family. She knew she had to leave, she even wanted to, but she still knew it would be hard. And it would hurt.

"Just try and keep me away." He smiled. He opened the door to the cab for her and she stepped inside. When he closed it, she reached her hand out the open window and took his hand gently.

"Thank you fezzy. See ya later." She smiled. She refused to say goodbye. It was too final. He smiled to her and squeezed her hand gently before letting go. He waved as the cab took off down the road.

He stood on the sidewalk, watching as the cab drew further and further away until it was gone. And Jackie Burkhart along with it. She'd been in so much pain here. Point Place only holding memories of people who should have stood by her and loved her, but only broke her heart and their promises. He only hoped the most beautiful girl in Point Place found the happiness, that the sweetest girl they knew, deserved.

TBC...

1 more to go...


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Well here is the final chapter, however, please look out for the epilogue. It will be posted as part of this fic not as a second fic. So, yeah look out for that. Just have to say a HUGE thank you goes out to **_everyone_** who's been following this fic and reviewing. I really appreciate it and I'm so glad that this fic, that I love, has been so well received. And I'm flattered that everyone has taken the time out of their lives to read Confession. Thank you again. And a quick thank you to **_crazy, YouThinkYouNoeMe, danalee48, believeandhope14, sexyzenfox, ReginaBina33_** for reviewing chapter 7. I'm flattered by all your kind comments. Thanks again everyone.

**_Chapter 8_**

She sat in the lounge of the airport waiting. Waiting for her flight to be called. And waiting to see if, once again, she'd have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

She'd been there for an hour, the plane was boarding in about 10 mins and she sighed, slumping down in her chair. There had been no sight of him. She'd got her answer.

She was disappointed. But she wasn't surprised. She'd hoped he had the strength to be faithful and trusting. That he had the strength to be a man in a commited relationship. A husband and a father. But obviously he didn't. A part of her had known all along, even as she'd asked him. She'd given up on their relationship and on him, but she had still held a slight lingering hope that he would prove her wrong.

Her eyes flittered around the people in the airport. There were families with children, and couples. There were people crying as they said goodbye to loved ones. There were people crying as they greeted loved ones. But she noticed she was the only one alone. The seat beside her only occupied by her purse and it made her feel more lonely than she'd ever been. They all had someone who loved them. She had no one. She was shaken from her thoughts as a voice came over the PA system announcing the boarding of her flight.

Just as she reached for her purse, she jumped. She felt something soft brush her neck from behind. She whirled around, immediately recognising the soft feeling of lips and was stunned. He was there. Standing behind her, a bag slung over his shoulder and grinning at her.

"You didn't really think I wouldn't come, did you?" He asked with a smirk that quickly faded when she nodded her head. She really thought he wouldn't come. "There was no other choice Jacks."He said softly walking around the row of chairs to stand in front of her. She stood up and they walked together toward the boarding gates. She was still stunned.

As they stood in line, he looked down at her wide eyes and smiled. He slipped his hand into hers and squeezed gently.

"This isn't going to be easy. You know that right?" She asked her eyes focused directly in front of her.

"I know. But I meant what I said. All of it. I love you, only you and I want to be with you. Whatever it takes." His voice was sincere and as she looked up at him, she noticed for the first time that he was without his trademark sunglasses. Looking into his eyes, she saw the hope and the love he felt.

"I don't want to marry you." She stated, her voice final, as they stepped forward in the line. Her eyes were staring straight ahead as he looked down at her in shock. It was the last thing he ever expected to hear from her.

"What?" Had he come here for nothing? Had she not meant it when she said she still loved him? Had this all been a cruel attempt at revenge?

"If you propose when we get to California, I will say no. We're not ready for that. We have a lot of things to work through and a lot of growing up to do. We have to prove that we are capable of being together and trusting each other before we can even think about getting married and starting a family." She sounded so mature. He'd always known that there was more to her than the shallow exterior she portrayed. He'd seen it whenever they were alone, whether it was lying in each other's arms, or sitting on the couch in the basement. But right now, he was starting to think that she'd abandoned the mask she'd worn for so long all together. He wondered when it had happened and how he had missed it?

"Ok." It was all he could think of to say. He'd agreed with her, completely. But her words had caught him off guard and left him speechless.

"Oh and by the way." She turned to him and he was suddenly assaulted with a sharp stinging pain resonating throughout his entire cheek. She'd slapped him. Hard. When he looked back down at her, he saw her set jaw and stern eyes.

"Feel better now?" He asked. He knew she'd wanted to do that for a long time. He couldn't be angry with her. He'd deserved it. And the pain in her eyes was breaking his heart.

"Not really. But I'll get there." She slipped her hand back into his as they handed over their boarding passes. He squeezed her hand as they walked onto the plane.

When they sat down beside each other, he turned towards her and looked at her. His hands rosed to cup her face and their eyes locked. He loved her. He'd never loved her more than he did at that moment. He'd never loved anyone more. He didn't even know he was capable of it. Hyde was stunned as he looked into her beautiful eyes, that his wonderful and beautiful girl was taking him back. After the hurt he'd caused her, she was willing to forgive him, because she loved him. He was loved. Completely and unwaveringly. Kitty had been right. She was the most important person that would ever enter his life. And he'd never let her go again. He'd never hurt her again. This he promised himself.

He leaned forward and kissed her deeply. The passion between them stronger than ever. How had he ever thought he could live without this feeling? A feeling that only she could evoke in him. A feeling he never wanted to lose, with a girl he knew he couldn't live without. And it was then that he realised just how much she had changed him. Because the thought didn't scare him. The only thing he feared now, was someone, most of all himself, hurting this woman that he loved with everything he had. And he knew, he'd spend his whole life making sure that never happened.

The End...

An Epilogue is on it's way.


	9. Author's Note

**_Author's Note:_**

I wanted to say thank you to everyone who's reviewed this fic throughout it's duration.

I know I said I was going to write an epilogue. But it was suggested, rather forcefully, that I write a sequel instead. And after careful consideration, I've decided to comply with this request from ReginaBina33 :)

There are still a few things that I didn't touch on that I really think should be addressed. So I am uploading the first chapter of **_Reconciliation_**. Head over to my profile to find it.

So thank you to everyone who's read, reviewed and supported this fic. It really has been humbling to see that so many people were enjoying something that I penned. It really is amazing and I'm very very grateful. Thank you everyone and I hope that the sequel lives up to any expectation or hope you may have.

-Ally


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